Milly: Prepare for the invasion

The undead invade Bristol for the annual zombie walk.
Image: web

Know what to do if zombies attack? Got a plan? I had previously decided that I would break into the Army base on Whiteladies Road and steal a tank but thinking about it, I have a sneaky suspicion that Army bases are locked, with big locks. A fascination with zombie attacks might be disconcerting for some, but seriously, who doesn't get a bit excited about the prospect of giving up all the boring day to day activities for a life of evading the undead, holing up in a creepy lean-to with only beans, spam and warm beer to sustain you? Don't worry though, with so many films, articles, books and even a lecture series at The Zombie Institute for Theoretical Studies available, you can't really go wrong. If you require pointers on how to blend into a gaggle of undead, take part in the annual Bristol zombie walk. Failing that, training is available in the form of a city-wide zombie chase game, 2.8 hours later, allowing us all to get that vital survival experience (possibly the best evening of my life). I did recently realise though, if there are swathes of rotting zombies to run away from most likely many have failed, but then they probably didn't read the guides. You may laugh at the extent of my preparatory measures safe in the knowledge that zombie-creating viruses don't exist but, I hear, the people are tinkering. Apparently there is an alarming increase in the number of amateur scientists trying their hand at genetic modification in the kitchen. With such a wealth of information available online, it may just be a matter of time until someone makes a terrible blunder, or perhaps the product of a crazy horror film enthusiast leads to the genesis of a deadly virus that reanimates the dead. If not, sounds like an excellent start to a zombie film. I've got my shotgun polished and my fingers crossed...